Speaking about Adoption


1. What is adoption?

  • the act of legally taking a child of other parents and consider him/her your own.

2. Do you know anyone who was adopted as a child?

  • My relative, an American Vietnamese mixed-race (con lai) person, adopted by my great aunt.

3. Do you know anyone who has adopted a child?

  • Angelina Jolie and Brat Pitt have adopted 3 children, one of whom is Pax Thien, a Vietnamese orphan (trẻ mồ côi)

4. What are some of the reasons people choose to adopt?

  • They want to have children so badly but cannot or do not want to give birth to their own children.
  • They want to do something nice for children who are prone to (dễ bị) abuse (lạm dụng) or negligence (sự bỏ rơi)
  • They want to have children who can take care of them in old age.

5. What is the difference between domestic and international adoption?

6. What are the views of adoption in your country?

  • Social opinions about adoption in Vietnam are still polarized. Some still keep the conservative outlook (quan điểm cũ) of raising nephews and nieces in case they are unmarried or sterilized, (vô sinh) but people are increasingly open in this issue and more willing to adopt children of other parents.

7. How would someone interested in adopting a child go about doing so?

  • They need to comply with laws about adoption ( theo luật nhận con nuôi). In particular, they need the consent (sự đồng ý) of the biological parents (cha mẹ ruột) of the child. In case the child has no parents, the adoptive parents need to seek agreement of those who are caring for the child. Some fee is usually incurred (phát sinh chi phí) in the adoption, so applying for an adoption grant (tài trợ tiền nhận con nuôi) is advisable. Then the adoptive parents need to fulfill all of the conditions in the check list which may include multiple visits to the child’s place, and extensive stay in the area where the child lives, etc.

8. Where do children available for adoption come from?

  • They are victims of violent parents, are abandoned, or experience family tragedies which kill their parents while no one else can afford to care for them.

9. What happens to children that are not adopted?

  • They stay in the orphanages and receive help from donations. Till a certain age, they can leave the orphanage to establish their own family and personal life. These people have a strong bond with the orphanage which they usually consider as their first home.

10. How do you go about adopting a child?

  • First, I will frequent an orphanage (thường xuyên tới thăm trại mồ côi) to find the child that I feel a special attachment to (sự gắn kết). I can also search for cases of children who have both parents killed in accidents. Second, I will talk to the child’s parents, relatives, or the orphanage’s manager to seek their consent for adoption. Then I will prepare the paper work and conditions to be eligible for (được quyền làm) adopting the child and proceed (tiến hành) the adoption.

11. Would you want to adopt a boy or a girl? Why?

  • If I need to adopt a child, that would be a boy. I believe that a boy is less fragile (ít mong manh) than a girl, and thus is easier to care for or protect from danger.

12. Do you think brothers and sisters should be separated in adoptions?

  • I don’t think any separation is necessary. If people wish to adopt all the children, both boys and girls, then they can all find a fair share of opportunities for a better life together. In cases that brothers and sisters are adopted by different families, they may need to reconnect with their siblings (anh chị em ruột) when they grow up.

13. Are adoptions common in your country?

Not really, it is quite rare and is only the last resort people turn to (cách cuối cùng mọi người làm) to have children.

14. What are some organizations that help with adoptions?

Charity organizations or Organization with adoption grants, and funds to support families with finance they have to pay for adoption.

15. Should adopted children have the right to know their biological parents?

An obvious Yes

16. Should families with birth children also adopt?

It depends on their need. If they yearn for (mong mỏi có) a boy but cannot have him, then adopting a boy can be an option.

17. Is the real parent the birth parent or the adoptive parent?

I believe it depends on how the parents take responsibility to care for and nurture (nuôi nấng) the children. What the children do can simply be paying tribute to (đền ơn) the parents who give them the gentle upbringing (tuổi thơ êm đềm) and opportunities to lead a happy life (sống cuộc đời hạnh phúc)

18. Should adoptions be between children and families of the same race and or culture?

  • There should not be any discrimination (kì thị, phân biệt) race or culture in adoption. As long as conditions are good for the child development, it can be an offset (sự đền bù) for any difference in origins or custom.

19. How or should the adoptive parents maintain the adopted child’s cultural identify?

  • Take the child back to the home country regularly, connect the child with other families in the neighborhood who are from the same country, send the child to international schools where there are children from the child’s home country.

20. In your country are the legal rights of an adoptive child different from that of a birth child?

  • I doubt that there are any differences. Once the child’s name is in the family registration (sổ hộ khẩu), he or she has the same right as every other child.

21. What makes a family, genetics or environment?

  • I believe what is crucial is the family bond and solidarity in the spirit that blood is thicker than water (1 giọt máu đào hơn ao nước lã) because even when people share the same blood running in their veins, the family can fall apart when its member stand against each other.

22. Do you support an open adoption policy where the birth parents can choose to be involved in the child’s life?

  • I would be very cautious in that case. People have different ways of life (lối sống), and living principles (nguyên tắc sống) which influence their education for children. They need to be the only one who educate the children at home to take full responsibility for their children’s personality development and future prospects. (định hướng tương lai) Advice from good will (thiện chí) of birth parents can be given, but the influencers (người có tầm ảnh hưởng) should still be the adoptive parents.

23. Do you believe there is discrimination within the adoption organizations?

  • I have no idea, but it would be a shame if discrimination still exists in organizations working for a benevolent cause (sự nghiệp nhân đạo)

24. Do you think a person should be able to adopt a child of a different race?

  • I steadfastly believe (tin chắc) that race or sex should not be a problem to raise in adoption because it is righteous (chính đáng) that fairness should be respected across the humankind.

25. Should a gay or lesbian couple be allowed to adopt a child?

  • I would say a big NO because if children live with gay or lesbian parents, they will definitely have confusion about genders and fundamental concepts (quan niệm cơ bản) of romantic love, marriage, and even maternal or paternal roles (vai trò của mẹ/cha) in the family.

26. Should there be an age restriction for the adoptive parents?

  • Definitely, adoptive parents need to be able to take more responsibility, and afford to support for education and other expense of the new family member, so couples of too young or too old ages should not be allowed to adopt children. Personally, I would say the eligible age should be 30-60 when the adoptive parents are mature enough for serious decisions and still stay in good health to care for a baby or a small kid. (just personal opinion).

27. Should a single man or woman be able to adopt a child?

  • Why not? As long as that person satisfies the requirements (thỏa các yêu cầu) for adoption, he or she should be allowed to adopt the child.

28. If you were to find out that you were adopted and not really from the country where you are a citizen, which nationality would you hope would be your true mother country? Why?

  • I would stick to the person who brought me up and spent the whole years loving and caring for me, and thus my nationality should be the current one.

29. When is the right time for a child to be told that he/she was adopted?

  • It depends, but I believe 18 years old should be the proper time because it marks the start of an independent life with almost full right of a citizen recognized in many countries including the right to vote. The child deserves to know (xứng đáng được biết) the truth about his or her origin.

30. Do you think it is preferable to adopt or to use artificial reproduction technology? (kĩ thuật sinh đẻ nhân tạo)

  • I prefer to have in vitro fertilization (IVF) (thụ tinh trong ống nghiệm), because whatever happens, the test-tube baby (đứa bé được sinh ra bằng phương pháp thụ tinh trong ống nghiệm) definitely carries my genes.

31. Would you agree to an open adoption or closed adoption? Why?

  • Open adoption: cha mẹ đẻ còn liên lạc với con
  • Closed adoption: cha mẹ đẻ không được liên lạc với con.
  • I would let the adopted child have a say (quyết định) in the matter and respect his or her wish no matter whether it is open or closed adoption that he or she may choose.

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