ĐỀ WRITING NGÀY 12/09/2019
Task 1:
The bar chart shows the percentage of the income of an average US household which was spent on various categories of expenditure in 1998 and 2008.
Nhận xét đề trước khi viết:
1/ Lưu ý rất quan trọng: đơn vị đo là %, nên cần tránh tối đa so sánh nhiều tiền hay ít tiền hơn và khi cần dùng thì
- chỉ dùng so trong nội bộ từng năm chứ k so năm này với năm kia (vì 10% of spending năm 1998 chưa chắc lớn hơn 5% của 2008 mà chỉ biết số phần trăm 10% lớn hơn số 5% thôi) à để tránh lỗi này, ở dưới bài viết tác giả có dùng spending allotment (sự phân bổ chi tiêu – ngầm chỉ tỉ lệ) và spending rates (nói tường minh ra tỉ lệ chi tiêu)
2/ Có 2 nhóm thông tin: nhóm có tỉ lệ tăng và nhóm còn lại (không đổi, giảm, và biến mất luôn) à thân bài tách thành 2 đoạn, mỗi đoạn mô tả xu hướng 1 nhóm. Khi phân đoạn như vậy, cần phải nhớ diễn tả sự khác biệt giữa 2 đoạn, ít nhất là bằng từ nối “However” ở đầu đoạn 2. Còn về phần logic, cần làm nổi bật chữ “TĂNG” trong 1 đoạn (electronic… và clothing) và giữ nguyên, giảm + biến mất trong thân bài còn lại.
3/ Overview: cộng dồn xem thử 2 cột cao nhất cộng lại có cao hơn các tổng các cột còn lại không, nếu có thì lấy thêm yêu tố so sánh tổng cộng này vào overview
The bar chart illustrates the spending of an average US household on six different needs in 1998 and 2008.
According to the chart, the highest spending of all in those two years was on electric goods which accounted for around 16% of the total expenses for an average household in America in 1998, and then escalated to 20% in 2008. With a similar rising expenditure, clothing was second in the shopping list of American families when they allotted around 12% of their spending for it in 1998, and the figure rose to just over 17% in 2008.
However, the period witnessed the stability in the proportion of spending on food at about 6% and a drop in the budget allotment for holiday of American family from 7% in 1998 to 5% in 2008. Even more remarkably, in 1998, people still set aside the same percentage of their spending, around 3%, for buying newspapers or magazines and going to the cinema, but in 2008, these costs were completely removed from the household’s bills.
In general, purchases of electronic devices and clothing cost American households most when spending rates on these two categories developed and were larger than those on the other items combined in both years mentioned. (206 words)
Task 2:
Entertainment such as electronic games on portal devices is harmful for individuals and the society they live in. Do you agree or disagree?
Outline:
Body paragraph 1: As for individuals, entertaining with electronic games is beneficial in some aspects but harmful in others.
- Good: dexterity of coordination of hand, fingers, relieve stress, socialize.
- Bad: time consuming for game addicts, and harmful for health due to non-physical activities, harm eye
Body paragraph 2: As regards the society, both sides of electronic games are clearly revealed.
- Good: create jobs for game industry and supporting industries: coder, designer, story writer, advertiser, game devices producers (Nintendo, Play Station)
- Bad: game addiction costs: reduced productivity of addicting workers, violent games: bloody killing, road rages à familiarize people with violent behaviour.
Vocabulary:
- Pastime: (n) giải trí
- Merits and demerits: (n) = advantages & disadvantanges, benefits & drawbacks, pros & cons: thuận lợi, bất lợi
- Dexterity: (n) sự khéo léo vận động tay chân
- Coordinate sth and sth: (v) phối hợp cái gì đó với nhau
- mental retardation: (n) sự thiểu năng trí tuệ
- relieve stress: giảm căng thẳng
- mutual understanding: (n) sự hiểu nhau
- ignore all other duties: bỏ bê các nhiệm vụ
- strip them of sth: tước cái gì khỏi tay ai
- supporting industries: (n) các ngành công nghiệp phụ trợ
- extreme: (n) điểm tột cùng
- game addiction: (n) sự nghiện game
- productivity: (n) năng suất lao động
- road rages: (n) đua xe bạo lực
- barbarous fighting: (n) đánh nhau man rợ
- couple with: đi kèm với
The essay:
Some assert that it is detrimental for individuals and for the whole society when people entertain by playing electronic games. However, in my opinion, this pastime has both merits and demerits.
As for individuals, entertaining with electronic games is beneficial in some aspects but harmful in others. It helps improve dexterity of the player when they are required to reasonably coordinate their fingers, eyes, and sometimes their feet to have full control of their characters. Such activities stimulate their brain to work and may assist people with mental retardation. Besides, when people play electronic games as a hobby, they can relieve stress and enjoy life. Their social life is also enhanced when they become part of a community sharing the same interest in gaming and even organizing offline meetings to enhance mutual understanding. However, if people become addicted to electronic games, they will waste their time uncontrollably playing games and ignore all other duties. In addition, the staring at the screen indisputably harms the eyes of the players and strip them of the time for healthy physical activities.
As regards the effects on society, both sides of electronic games are clearly revealed. Actually electronic games benefits society substantially by creating jobs in game companies and for other supporting industries. The demand is huge, so there are plentiful positions welcoming skilled workers to fill like those for coders, graphic designers, story writers, music composers, and advertisers. It also pushes the development of producers of game devices like Nintendo, or Play Station to also employ more people to work and pay more tax to the government. Nevertheless, at a negative extreme of electronic game playing is game addiction which costs society tremendously when it reduces productivity of addicting workers and worries as well as disrupts the development of thousands of families who have game addicts. In addition, there are a plethora of violent games which encourage road rages, barbarous fighting, and bloody killing which partially worsen the violence in society.
In conclusion, such entertainment as playing electronic games has its own rewards but also couples with condemnation at the personal level as well as on the social scale. (356 words)
